Godly fathers-ungodly sons-21
David is a very difficult person to truly understand. Yes, he is a man after God’s own heart, yet he was not a great father as we are beginning to see. The real question that we need to answer is are we good fathers? We will now study the story of Amnon and Tamar.
2 Samuel 13:1 Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her. 13:2 Amnon was so frustrated because of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.
What does it mean to do anything to her? We will soon discover that Amnon is a rich, spoiled young man that is used to getting anything he wanted. This seems to include having sex with any woman he wanted. Lust fades fast but true love is far different.
13:3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother; and Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 13:4 He said to him, "O son of the king, why are you so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?" Then Amnon said to him, "I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom." 13:5 Jonadab then said to him, "Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.'" 13:6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand."
What kind of young men surround the king’s sons? Certainly not godly men, but men who want to gain favor for themselves, regardless of the cost to others.
13:7 Then David sent to the house for Tamar, saying, "Go now to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him." 13:8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, and he was lying down. And she took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 13:9 She took the pan and dished them out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, "Have everyone go out from me." So everyone went out from him.
The trap is set and the room is emptied. This already looks bad for Tamar.
13:10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand." So Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. 13:11 When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my sister."
This is all he really wanted, sex with his half sister. Did he really think of her or his relationship to her and her brother?Did he worry about what his father would say or do?
13:12 But she answered him, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! 13:13 "As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you."
David violated God’s commands in regards to adultery as he had sex with Bathsheba.
Leviticus 20:10 'If there is a man who commits adultery with another man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Now we see how Amnon likewise disobeyed God’s commands in regards to a virgin.
Exodus 22:16 "If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. 22:17 "If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins.
Deuteronomy 22:25 "But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die.
Clearly, Amnon was guilty and Tamar was innocent.
13:14 However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. 13:15 Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Get up, go away!" 13:16 But she said to him, "No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!" Yet he would not listen to her.
What arrogance, what lack of concern or empathy, and what little concern for anyone but himself.
13:17 Then he called his young man who attended him and said, "Now throw this woman out of my presence, and lock the door behind her." 13:18 Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for in this manner the virgin daughters of the king dressed themselves in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. 13:19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.
13:20 Then Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart." So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom's house.
Absalom seemed to know the character or lack of character of his half brother.
2Sa 13:21 Now when King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry.
Did David do nothing else once he learned of this? Anger kept to yourself as one of his daughters is raped by one of his sons is not enough. Why did he not summon Amnon to appear to him and order him to marry Tamar? What should a father do?
13:22 But Absalom did not speak to Amnon either good or bad; for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.
Absalom should have been angered and also should have gone to Amnon to confront him with this grave sin. But, Absalom was a patient long planner, as we will see next week.
Lessons and questions.
Why did David not do anything?
What did David’s lack of action imply to everyone?
Why did Amnon think this was okay?
What ever happened to Tamar?
Sinning against God will result in consequences from God.
More next Saturday.